Snow? NO!!!!

*glances out window*

Snow??!?

"Snow" contains the word "no"... this should be a clue, ye foul weather system! *shivers and shakes fist at the sky*

It cans be summer nao, plz?


(Edit: Okay, so it's just an extremely light flurry, a few flakes. Still, I'd really like to be done with it until, say, next December.)

Paging Doctor Who

Mehrit on Tribe.net and Undernet's SCA Chat passed me a link to some photos from (among other things) Pennsics past, among which I found a real gem: someone disguised their camp shower to look like the TARDIS.

Way cool!

Go here and click on the second picture from the left in the second row.

Spring comes to Cleveland

Winter seemed to take forever to arrive, and then stubbornly hung on once it was here. The vernal equinox came amid chilly temperatures, bracketed by snowfall. But even before the calendar announced the first official day of spring, I'd seen robins return and chipmunks chase each other through the melting snow. The pussywillow behind our house is in bloom, and fat buds are visibly swelling on the oak trees out front. These days I awaken to birdsong, something that has also gained the full attention of my cats.

And baseball season is back. I think the Indians have a good chance this year to do what they didn't quite do last year.

Here's to that hope!

I can walk!!!!

I had my orthopedic appointment today. Three x-rays and a consultation later, I am now walking in my own two shoes, sans walker, wearing an Ace ankle brace on my right ankle and occasionally using a cane for balance, or to signal in a crowd that it is probably not a good idea to jostle me.

It feels SO good!

I've seen my x-rays from today, and the bone looks good. I can't even see where it was broken, though admittedly I'm no expert at reading x-rays. Apparently, it's pretty solid now, anyway, and the doc said that in another few weeks the ankle will be completely healed and good as ever. In the meantime, I'm to walk normally, wear the ankle brace if I feel the need (and yes, it makes me feel more sure of the ankle, which feels slightly weaker than the other one, though it doesn't hurt unless I'm on it for a long time). I get to return to my normal life, and I go back to the orthopedist on April 17th for another checkup. He also said not to worry about my left knee, since a lot of the current pain I'm having in it is probably due to a combination of having been my mobility workhorse for several weeks and walking in the fracture boot, which has a higher sole than my shoes. Once I've been walking levelly in normal shoes for a while, he expects the pain to subside, and if I do the PT exercises I had for the knee before, that ought to take care of the rest. Basically, sensible leg exercises will strengthen both legs, and I'll be just fine.

I'm still a bit confused as to whether I merely have a torn meniscus in that knee, or a torn meniscus and a torn or missing ACL. My regular orthopedist is currently on vacation, and the one I saw today is an associate of his who also saw me while I was in the hospital. My regular one had told me back in September that my ACL was "okay" but my meniscus was torn; however, in a visit to my primary doctor yesterday, I was informed that according to a letter from that orthopedist to my primary doc in October, my knee injury was described as a torn ACL and a torn meniscus. Well, either way, the knee was stable after PT, so apparently it will be again. Good, because I really don't want surgery.

Anyway, I can walk now. My friend who took me to the appointment had to go back to work, but by that time my fiance had arrived home from work, and came to get me. We ran a few errands, and now he's gone to shovel a friend's car out of the snow left from this weekend's blizzard. I'm looking forward to getting back to normalcy.

A D&D-inspired Look at Politics

Charlie Stross describes the current crop of Presidential candidates in Monster Manual terms.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Spring is coming!

I saw the first robin of spring today, and the pussywillows in our backyard are pushing forth their fuzzy little blooms!

This is annoying

I am currently watching a program on the History Channel, Journey to 10,000 BC, about ancient humans. For whatever reason, the History Channel has seen fit to keep a banner in the top left corner of the screen, announcing "Ax Men Series Premiere Starts In" followed by a counter in hours, minutes and seconds. (It's currently at 01:47:38 or some such.)

Do they have ANY idea how annoying this is? I really don't want my view of the program I'm currently watching to be obscured or distracted from by a banner advertising an upcoming show that I have no interest in. (To be fair, I'd be just as upset if the banner were advertising a show I was eagerly awaiting.) Why not just let me watch what I'm watching right now, and trust me to be able to read my cable guide and figure out when the next thing I want to watch will be on?

From the department of OMG, WTF

Ah, late winter in Cleveland, Ohio...

Water Floods Basements in Downtown Cleveland

And the whole mess put a big sinkhole at a major intersection in Public Square, too.

There is speculation that this week's fluctuating temperatures may have caused the pipe, installed in 1880, to weaken and break.

Update...

For those of you who weren't aware, I broke my right ankle on January 16th, and this on top of having suffered a torn meniscus in my left knee last year. The knee was treated with physical therapy, and I was cleared to return to normal activity just before Christmas. So of course, less than a month later, I break the ankle on the opposite leg. The left knee decided that bearing all of my weight did not constitute "normal" activity and went on strike. I wound up not being able to use crutches, and so had to use a wheelchair. Thus began several weeks of inactivity. Inactivity of this type can often lead to the development of blood clots in the lower limbs, and I had already been hospitalized in November of 2001 for a clot in my right calf. (I was on birth control pills at the time, and over the age of 35, and had smoked briefly off and on up to that point, so the clot was chalked up to those things as they are known to increase clotting risks. I was treated with heparin in the hospital, spent three days there, was discharged, spent 6 months on Coumadin, have been off BC and smoking ever since, and remained clot-free.) I was worried about developing another clot while sitting on my butt waiting for my ankle to heal, and indeed I did develop one, this time in my right thigh. I was admitted to the hospital on Saturday, February 23rd, late at night after spending several hours in ER getting tests done. Heparin was administered via IV, and I started on Coumadin while in the hospital.

Also, while I was in the hospital they checked my ankle on Tuesday and cleared me for full weightbearing, as tolerated, in the big plastic removable boot I've been wearing since February 7th. (I also now get to leave the boot off except when actually walking in it. Yay for increased foot comfort!) They gave me a walker and taught me to use it, and had me hobbling the halls, and also had me practicing on the stairs in the physical therapy gym with a crutch so that I could get in and out of our 2nd-floor apartment without having to go up and down stairs on my butt anymore. So one day before the six-week anniversary of the fracture, I was cleared to walk.

I got home Friday evening, and will be on Coumadin (also known as warfarin) for probably the next three months, and at least to start with, I have to have blood tests on Mondays and Fridays. The clot probably did indeed result from my being confined to wheelchair, bed and sofa for most of six weeks though the doctor says that I may also be slightly predisposed to clotting, according to some bloodwork. Not all tests on that are back yet, and I'm asking for everyone's continued GoodThoughts/prayers/whatever that everything still out there comes back showing no problem. My doctor says that after three months on the warfarin, I may well be able to transition to a low-dose aspirin regimen combined with being active rather than sitting around, and indeed I am going to be getting active again while on the warfarin too, with his blessing. Since now I won't be sitting on my butt quite so much, I'm able to start getting back on track again.

Overall, it feels good to be walking, even though I have to do it slowly and use the walker for now. I go back to the orthopedist on March 11th and hopefully by then I'll be able to start walking without the walker. To be honest, the old left knee injury is actually giving me more pain and hassle now than the right ankle. Life is odd, isn't it? Anyway, now I get to start from square one with the PT exercises for the knee. Which is pretty much what I expected I would need to do.

Thank you everyone for your prayers, GoodThoughts and well wishes. They are much appreciated.

Heh

I hate to admit it, but I've done this before:

(Courtesy of xkcd)

I'm not so sure it's that accurate a measure, but....

Here are my responses to the Class questionnaire that's been going around:

Father went to college (for years and years, part time at night, while working days...)
Father finished college   (when he was in his 50's and I was in college myself)
Mother went to college
Mother finished college 
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor (my great grand uncle was a physician in Sweden in the late 19th/early 20th century, before he came to the United States)
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers  (probably the same as some of them. Not higher than any of them.)
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Were read children's books by a parent
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 (piano - 6 mos., art - 6 mos., voice - 2yrs, paid for by my grandparents)
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels (Sometimes. We didn't go on many vacations, though. I think I remember three that involved hotels or motels.)
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 (Believe it or not, no. Even though I was an only child, I got hand-me-downs from a couple of neighbor families with kids just a bit bigger than me. And I was happy to have them, because they were good clothes.)
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child (My mother sketched and painted, and my parents also bought a couple of paintings at "starving artist" sales.)
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home 
You had your own room as a child (Well, I'm an only child, and my parents did own a whole house)
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
Had your own TV in your room in High School
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 (Mom and I accompanied Dad on a business trip to California when I was 14, and took a loan on an insurance policy to be able to do so)
Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up (Museums, anyway)
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family (I only knew it was expensive, but nothing more specific than that)

(This exercise comes from here.)

This is just wrong!

UN Peacekeepers Deface Ancient Cultural Site

WTF is wrong with some people?!?!?!?!

Why do people INSIST on public displays of ignorance?

Honestly, you'd think they would know better. A good friend of mine got the following email, and blithely fowarded it on to a group of his friends, with me being one of the recipients. I've seen this kind of crap before (the original email message has been floating around cypberspace for a while now), and I finally got fed up and had to respond. Allow me to share with you here both the email I received, and the response I sent back. I received:

"CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS?

This is very interesting! We all need to read it from start to finish......... and send it on to anyone who will read it. Maybe this is why our American Muslims are so quiet and not speaking out about any atrocities.

Can a good Muslim be a good American? This question was forwarded to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years. The following is his reply: Theologically - no. . . . Because his allegiance is to Allah, The moon God of Arabia.

Religiously - no. . . . Because no other religion is accepted by His Allah except Islam (Quran, 2:256) (Koran).

Scripturally - no. . . Because his allegiance is to the five Pillars of Islam and the Quran.

Geographically - no. . . . Because his allegiance is to Mecca, to which he turns in prayer five times a day.

Socially - no. . . . Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews.

Politically - no. . . . Because he must submit to the mullahs (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction of America , the great Satan.

Domestically - no. . . . Because he is instructed to marry four women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Quran 4:34).

Intellectually - no. . . . Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles, and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.

Philosophically - no. . . . Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran do not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.

Spiritually - no. . . . Because when we declare "one nation under God," the Christian's God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran's 99 excellent names.

Therefore after much study and deliberation, perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS in this country. They obviously cannot be both "good" Muslims and good Americans. Call it what you wish; it's still the truth. You had better believe it. The more who understand this, the better it will be for our country and our future. The religious war is bigger than we know or understand.

And Barack Hussein Obama, a Muslim, wants to be our President? You HAVE to be kidding?! Wake up America ! Obama even says if he wins the election, he will be sworn in on the Quran (Koran)---not the Bible!

PLEASE, please pass this to all in your address book."

After I finished bleaching my brain, I crafted the following response, and sent it out as a "Reply All" - and those of you who know me well know that I NEVER touch "Reply All" without a damn good reason. My response, as sent to the email list:

Where to begin? This is not only highly inaccurate, but also wrong on so MANY levels. This is a screwed-up world we're living in, for sure, but perpetuating false information and feeding erroneous views based on racism and religious prejudice certainly isn't going to do anything to solve the problems. And since I was raised to believe that failing to at least attempt to be part of the solution is a sure way to be part of the problem, I have to say something here. I'm sorry, but PLEASE don't disseminate crap like the anti-Obama email you forwarded. It does neither you, nor anyone else, any credit. You're way smarter than this, my friend. Here, with source links, are ten things that are wrong with the anti-Obama, anti-Muslim diatribe I found in my email box:

1. Barack Obama is NOT a Muslim. He is a Christian, a worshipper at Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ, where he has been a member for twenty years. [1] The UCC is not and has never been a Muslim group. But since we already have at least one Muslim that I'm aware of in the House of Representatives (Keith Ellison, representing Minnesota's 5th District) and plenty of Muslim Americans living in this country, I feel it is important to make the following points:

2. "Allah" is the Arabic name for the deity the Old Testament Jews referred to by "YHWH". [2] The same one that Christians call simply, "God". In fact, Arabic-speaking Christians call God "Allah". [3] There's no moon-god involved. Also, if a Christian's first allegiance is to God, then by the same logic used herein to suggest that Muslims cannot be good Americans, NEITHER CAN CHRISTIANS. Which, of course, is BS, pure and simple. And correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it Soviet Russia and Communist China who suggested that a citizen's first and only allegiance ought to be to the state, rather than to any other entity including religious figures? Since when do we make the same demand in America?

3. Nothing in Islam forbids friendship with Christians or Jews. [4] Indeed, Islam in its classical form regards both Christians and Jews as fellow believers in the same Abrahamic God worshipped by Muslims. They are referred to as "People of the Book" - that book being the sacred writings known to Christians as the Old Testament and to Jews as the Torah. [5] Guess what? Muslims believe in the Old Testament too, and consider Abraham a spiritual forefather.

4. Muslims are no more "required" to submit to religious mullahs than Catholics are "required" to submit to the Pope. Since the Pope is not a member of the United States government, does this mean that Catholics cannot be good Americans?

5. The vast majority of religious leaders in Islam do NOT regard America as "the great Satan" nor do they advocate its destruction. [6] Israel is a slightly trickier item, but even so, the majority of Islamic religous leaders have no desire to see Israel destroyed, either. They'd simply like to see more justice for Israel's Muslim residents and neighbors. Christian leaders the world over call for justice and fairness toward Middle Eastern, African and Asian Christians whenever they deem it necessary to do so; what's the difference?

6. Muslims are NOT "instructed" to marry four women. Islam is interpreted as PERMITTING up to four wives, but does not COMMAND this. [7] Old Testament Judaism also permitted a man to have multiple wives.[8] Also, Muslim men are no more instructed to "beat and scourge" their wives [9] than are some Christian groups which practice so-called "Biblical Literalism" and attempt to adhere to certain hand-picked verses. [10] So, again applying the faulty logic behind the statement in the original message, I guess that means Jews and Christians can't be "good Americans".

7. The United States Constitution is IN NO WAY based upon "Biblical" principles. It is and has always been based upon principles explored in the secular movement known as the Enlightenment, many of which were in turn drawn in large part from ancient Greek and Roman governmental principles. A perusal of the writings of Jefferson, Adams, Madison, Franklin and others will show this. [11] Furthermore, Islam does not see the Bible as "corrupt" any more than Christians see the writings of non-Christian religions as "corrupt". Not everyone of one faith places the same value on religious books of another faith as on their own; so what? Good grief, there are even differences in Bibles between Catholic and Protestant, or various versions of the Protestant Bible itself. Pot, meet kettle. And none of this has ANY bearing on the United States government. Remember that pesky First Amendment, the one that guarantees every one of us the right to our own religious beliefs? [12] Unless I've missed a memo again, that amendment is still in force.

8. The Islamic nations of the Middle East were historically among the most highly tolerant of other religions during the Middle Ages (as just one example). Christians and Jews were permitted to live and worship openly in the Ottoman Empire [13], for example, during a time when Catholic Europe was persecuting first its own indigenous pagans and later Protestants (and don't forget that Protestants have persecuted Catholics as well). Granted, the Ottomans weren't exactly tolerant of polytheists, but then again, I've never found evidence that those who spout off about "Christian America" and "the evils of Islam" are terribly tolerant of polytheists, either. You might also want to look up the history of both the Morisco[14] and the Marranos[15] in Spain and Portugal during the Spanish Inquisition and its Portuguese counterpart. These were, respectively, Muslims and Jews who had been forced to convert to Christianity or lose their lives. Ironically, during much of the al-Andalus period, when Spain was under Muslim control, Christians and Jews were permitted to worship openly. [16] While modern day Saudi Arabia, Iran, Afghanistan and certain other Middle Eastern nations forbid conversion from Islam to any other faith, this is not true of all nations with Muslim majorities or primarily Islamic cultures. And there certainly are democratic nations today in the Muslim Middle East, places where non-Muslims enjoy religious freedom. Take a look at Kuwait, for example: a modern Muslim nation, with a secular democratic government and laws, where nearly a quarter-million Christians worship openly. 10% of the population of Syria is likewise Christian, and worships freely. And those are just two examples. [17], [18]

9. There are many descriptive titles given to Allah in Islam, just as in Judaism and Christianity. [19] In all three faiths, a great many of these names refer to love and mercy as qualities held by the deity (by whatever name called!). None of the three have a monopoly on the attribution of mercy and love to the Almighty. For that matter, the Christian portrayal of God is so "loving and kind" that some of his purported followers (thankfully, not all, but that just shows how ANY religion can have its share of nutcases, and that we ought not to judge a faith based on the views of the nutcase minority) believe he would condemn children to eternal punishment in Hell for simply never having been exposed to or baptized into Christianity, which isn't exactly a ringing endorsement for love as a divine attribute. 'Nuff said.

10. In the U.S., no religious book is required for swearing in the President or any other federal official. To require one would violate Article VI, Section 3 of the United States Constititution, which states, "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States." [20] The decision to utilize a Bible, a Koran, the Torah, any other religious book or even none at all is a personal decision on the part of the person being sworn into office, and has absolutely no bearing on that person's fitness to hold public office under U.S. law. To insist, as the original author of this email appears to do, that the President of the United States must be a Christian, or at the very least, must NOT be a Muslim, is a clear violation of the very document our Founding Fathers spent so much time and trouble to put together to guide the fledgling nation they had birthed, and is a most egregious insult to a core principle which they saw fit to enshrine therein.

Primary day in Ohio is coming up, and the national election looms on the horizon. Vote your consciences, everyone, and vote for whomever you feel will be the best person to be our next President, because no matter who gets elected - regardless of party, gender, race or religion - it's going to be a bumpy ride, I fear. But for everyone's sake, *please* base your votes on real-world qualifications of the candidates and their actual positions on the issues facing this nation, and NOT on prejudice or on the scare tactics used by those who don't know what they're talking about and hope you don't either. The U.S. can either be a nation based on the principles of freedom, equality and progress that its Founders intended, or it can become a nation based on prejudice, fear and ignorance. If we choose to base our votes on these latter three, then we have already lost our birthright as a nation. Please share THIS message, in its entirety, with your friends and acquaintances.

And now for my next trick...

So the broken right ankle is actually bothering me less at this moment than the left knee with the torn meniscus. That's right, the left knee that the same ortho I'm now seeing for the ankle signed off on in late December as being "ready to return to normal activities" is now back to nearly pre-treatment pain levels. Of course, it was only treated via physical therapy (which was fine by me) and what I've been asking of it lately is hardly "normal activity", but yeah, it fucking hurts. Pardon my language, yadda yadda, but this sucks.

Meanwhile, the ankle is 16 days post-break, and I'm 6 days out from my next appointment with the ortho. For those not in the loop, it was a simple break of the fibula, no displacement, no surgery, splinted within a couple hours of the break, and placed in a cast the next day. I'm supposed to not be putting any weight on it, and given that the left knee has its own issues (see above) I've been using a wheelchair. In the house, though, I've mostly been using our office chair and sort of rowing myself around with my left leg, since our place is small and cramped and difficult to maneuver a wheelchair in. And of course, we live on the second floor, so the only way I've been able to manage stairs has been on my butt, pushing myself with the left leg and using my hands on the steps and railing to push/pull myself up and down. I've limited my outings to a couple of times a week - enough to take care of necessary things I have to appear in person to do and to prevent me from succumbing to cabin fever. However, even this has been a lot to ask of the knee, apparently. (If I weighed less, it wouldn't be so much of a problem, but hey, part of how I got in this mess in the first place was as a result of attempting to exercise so as to lose weight, grrrr, and add to that the fact that I broke my ankle as a result of slipping on ice while walking as an attempt not only to lose weight but to strengthen the left leg whose trouble was at least partially a result of earlier exercise... irony, anyone?) Bottom line: I've wound up putting some weight on the broken ankle for a split second or so once in a while despite my best efforts, as I've found myself losing my balance while transferring to the toilet, to bed, etc. The first couple of times that happened, it was excruciating. Now it doesn't hurt much. I'm going to take that as a good sign. I have to be able to take comfort in something, don't I?

So.

I'm now using the wheelchair in the house, since as of last night almost any movement of the left leg results in the same sharp "catching" pain in my left knee as I was getting before the physical therapy brought that leg back to usefulness. I'm debating whether or not it is even worth contemplating attending the barony's Regular Event tomorrow. Sigh. I want to, but it's those damn stairs. I'd have to be carried down them and back up, and I'm not about to ask Dave to do it, because he's having ankle problems of his own (arthritis, it's an old and ongoing problem, a legacy of his HS wrestling days). I don't want anyone getting hurt, and if Dave got hurt then Dad and I would have no one to do things that we can't do for ourselves. If I skip the event, Dave and Mac will attend without me. The choir needs male voices, but can do without mine as there are enough female voices. Someone else can sing my solo... it will be all right, except that I will be enormously bummed. But that's life. Or at least my life. Or something. Ironically, had I skipped meetings and therefore rehearsals the past couple of weeks, I might be okay physically for tomorrow, but I probably wouldn't be too good on the music. Gah.

If by some miracle I do make it to the event, I've already decided against wearing the lovely bliaut I was planning to wear (actually half of a coordinated set for Dave and me) because I can all too easily imagine getting those swoopy sleeves caught in the wheels of my chair. Dave has wisely suggested that we save those outfits for a time when I'm on my feet again, and I agree. So they've been put aside unfinished, and will keep me busy while I continue to heal. And I will look forward to wearing them when I can actually stand up and walk on my own, unaided. It will be more fun that way anyway. So this weekend, Dave will wear the winter tunic I made for him a while back, twin to the one I'm finishing for Mac, only in a different color. And if I show up, it will likely be in my tight-sleeved teal dress, which in any case is warmer than the bliaut I was planning to wear. This being Cleveland in February, that may not be a bad thing.

I've got to get back to some sewing now.

Another meme, because I'm fresh out of anything else right now

1. You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station:
I do? Okay, probably Sun Chips and iced tea.

2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
A dolphin or an otter (do otters count?).

3. Last book you read?
As in, most recently finished physical book? God's Dice by S. Andrew Swann (fantasy novel with local Cleveland color, by a local Cleveland writer)

4. Describe the last time you were injured?
About a week and a half ago, falling on ice and breaking my ankle. Ouchie.

5. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Whichever one is most likely to be clever about getting out of wells.

6. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?
It depends on where we are on the sports-season calendar. Right now it's the Buffalo Sabres logo. Which is interesting, given my current love-hate relationship with ice.

7. If you could only use one form of transportation what would it be?
Local or long distance? Because my answer will be different depending on the answer to that question.

8. Most recent movie you have watched in the theatre?
A Scanner Darkly, I think. I don't go to the movies very often.

9. Name an actor/actress/singer you have the hots for:
Meh. I really don't pay much attention to the Hollywood set when it comes to getting the hots for people. Musicians are more my style.

10. What's your favorite kind of cake?
Chocolate

11. Look to your left, what do you see?
My bookshelves.

12. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Depends on the shoes. For lace-up sneakers, usually not. For lace-up boots, definitely. Most of the rest of my shoes don't lace up anyway.

13. Favorite toy as a child?
Do art supplies count? If not, then probably my miniature dolls.

14. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
It wouldn't surprise me.

15. Do you like running long distances?
I've never been able to do that, unfortunately. I wish I could.

15. Have you ever eaten snow?
From birth to the age of 23 I lived in ski country in Western New York. What do you think? (But never the yellow kind!)

16. What color are the sheets on your bed?
Pastel blue, at the moment. The other ones are pastel yellow.

17. What is the first television theme song that pops in your head?
The theme to Red Green.

18. Do people consider you smart?
Often, yes.

19. How many piercings do you have?
Double-pierced ears.

20. What is your favorite salad dressing?
Ranch or bleu cheese.

(Yes, thank goodness it's satire)

RIAA Declares Using Brain to Remember Songs is Criminal Copyright Infringement

(click the above link for complete story)

To wit:

On the heels of the RIAA's recent decision to criminalize consumers who rip songs from albums they've purchased to their computers (or iPods), the association has now gone one step further and declared that "remembering songs" using your brain is criminal copyright infringement. "The brain is a recording device," explained RIAA president Cary Sherman. "The act of listening is an unauthorized act of copying music to that recording device, and the act of recalling or remembering a song is unauthorized playback."

The RIAA also said it would begin sending letters to tens of millions of consumers thought to be illegally remembering songs, threatening them with lawsuits if they don't settle with the RIAA by paying monetary damages. "We will aggressively pursue all copyright infringement in order to protect our industry," said Sherman.

In order to avoid engaging in unauthorized copyright infringement, consumers will now be required to immediately forget everything they've just heard -- a skill already mastered by U.S. President George Bush. To aid in these memory wiping efforts, the RIAA is teaming up with Big Pharma to include free psychotropic prescription drugs with the purchase of new music albums. Consumers are advised to swallow the pills before listening to the music. The pills -- similar to the amphetamines now prescribed for ADHD -- block normal cognitive function, allowing consumers to enjoy the music in a more detached state without the risk of accidentally remembering any songs (and thereby violating copyright law).

Consumers caught humming their favorite songs will be charged with a more serious crime: The public performance of a copyrighted song, for which the fines can reach over $250,000 per incident. "Humming, singing and whistling songs will not be tolerated," said Sherman. "Only listening and forgetting songs is allowed."

Consumers attempting to circumvent the RIAA's new memory-wiping technology by actually remembering songs will be charged with felony crimes under provisions of the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act). The Act, passed in 1998, makes it a felony crime to circumvent copyright protection technologies. The RIAA's position is that consumers who actually use their brains while listening to music are violating the DMCA. "We would prefer that consumers stop using their brains altogether," said Sherman.

With this decision, the RIAA now considers approximately 72% of the adult U.S. population to be criminals. Putting them all in prison for copyright infringement would cost U.S. taxpayers an estimated $683 billion per year -- an amount that would have to be shouldered by the remaining 28% who are not imprisoned. The RIAA believes it could cover the $683 billion tab through royalties on music sales. The problem with that? The 28% remaining adults not in prison don't buy music albums. That means album sales would plummet to nearly zero, and the U.S. government (which is already deep in debt) would have to borrow money to pay for all the prisons. And where would the borrowed money come from? China, of course: The country where music albums are openly pirated and sold for monetary gain.

When asked whether he really wants 72% of the U.S. population to be imprisoned for ripping music CDs to their own brains, RIAA president Sherman shot back, "You don't support criminal behavior do you? Every person who illegally remembers a song is a criminal. We can't have criminal running free on the streets of America. It's an issue of national security."

NOTE: This is a satire report on the RIAA. That means it's written as fictional humor. It does not yet represent the actual position of the RIAA, although from the way things are going, the association may soon adopt it. Permission is granted to make copies of this story, redistribute it, post it and e-mail it (please provide proper credit and URL) as long as you do not actually remember it because copying to your brain is now strictly prohibited. Any attempts to circumvent the memory-based copyright restrictions on this article will result in your brain imploding, causing such an extreme loss of cognitive function that your only hope for any future career will be running for public office.

###

About the author: Mike Adams is a holistic nutritionist with a mission to teach personal and planetary health to the public He has authored more than 1,500 articles and dozens of reports, guides and interviews on natural health topics, impacting the lives of millions of readers around the world who are experiencing phenomenal health benefits from reading his articles. Adams is an honest, independent journalist and accepts no money or commissions on the third-party products he writes about or the companies he promotes. In 2007, Adams launched EcoLEDs, a maker of energy efficient LED lights that greatly reduce CO2 emissions. He also founded an environmentally-friendly online retailer called BetterLifeGoods.com that uses retail profits to help support consumer advocacy programs. He's also the CEO of a highly successful email newsletter software company that develops software used to send permission email campaigns to subscribers. Adams also serves as the executive director of the Consumer Wellness Center, a non-profit consumer protection group, and regularly pursues cycling, nature photography, Capoeira and Pilates. Known as the 'Health Ranger,' Adams' personal health statistics and mission statements are located at www.HealthRanger.org

[...] For Sale

Courtesy of Making Light

Though I will admit I hadn't been aware they were being marketed on eBay.

Our children is learning... that candidacy and idiocy can go hand in hand

Got this golden nugget of goodness from Eschaton. Enjoy!

Report Shows Voting Machines Easy to Hack

As if we hadn't suspected that all along.

From BoingBoing's Gadget department: Link

Random Memage

I rarely do memes, but let's face it: I've been running on mental fumes lately, which means that I haven't been posting much. Since I don't want to just leave this space blank for the duration, here's a meme I got from a friend of mine. Enjoy. Or not.

1. My ex: Husband? Don't have one. Significant Other? Which one?
2. I talk: A lot. Some of it even makes sense.
3. I love: When a plan comes together.
4. I have: Lots of ideas.
5. I've lost: Probably a few of my marbles. Life will do that sometimes.
6. I hate it when: I screw up.
7. Marriage: Takes work, but is worth it. Also, is in my plans for 2008.
8. Somewhere, someone is thinking: Why won't people use their turn signals?
9. I'll always be: Trying.
10. I have a crush on: Rik Emmett or Jamie Fraser, depending on whether you were expecting me to pick a real or a fictitious person.
11. The last time I truly cried was: Out of frustration.
12. My cell phone is: Silver, with butterfly stickers.
13. When I wake up in the morning I: Make coffee, so that I can be at least somewhat functional and coherent.
14. Before I go to sleep at night I: Read, usually.
15. Right now I am thinking about: This meme.
16. Babies: Are adorable.
17. I get on Myspace: Only by accident these days.
18. Today I: Have more things I need to do than I have hours/energy to do them.
19. Tonight I will: Hopefully sleep MUCH better than I did last night.
20. Tomorrow I will: Win the lottery, I hope.
21. I really want to: Win the lottery. (Do you sense a pattern here?)
22. The person I love most is: D.